50 Blogs and 50 Insights

This is my 50th Blog post! Woo hoo! I started in April and I am so glad that I finally sat down to do this. It has made me feel so much better to get to express myself through writing again. So for my 50th Blog I thought I would post 50 things about me. These are thoughts, hopes, fears, personality, past… just a bit to get to know me better! I hope you enjoy.

1) I am half Korean (South) with English, Irish, and Cherokee as well.
2) I live in the Southern United States.
3) I recently turned 30 years old although I still have a hard time believing that one!
4) I am married with 3 children, 1 girl and 2 boys.
5) I survived a flood when I was a young child which caused me to have nightmares about the flood for some time after.
6) I have written since I was 7 years old. The first story I wrote was about Monsters and it was also a picture book. I was hooked on writing ever since.
7) As a writer, I enjoy content and details the most. I love being able to describe something so that a person can actually see or feel whatever it is you are describing.
8) Sometimes I worry that because there are so many people who write, that I am simply one of a million. I hope to hone my skill and be able to stand out in some way.
9) I really want to help those who don’t have anyone advocating for them. I want people to see that they are not alone and that people care about them.
10) I have suffered with depression my entire life because of the abuse I endured as a child and the loss of my father.
11) It has taken me a long time to find my way as a person and for the first time in a long time I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
12) I was in a legal battle over the visitation and well-being of my daughter with some pretty terrible people for over 7 years. In the end, we won because it was evident that they were not morally sound people.
13) I learned a lot because of the legal battle I faced. I found a new strength as a woman, a mother, and as a person who had no experience within the legal system.
14) I learned how to research people on my own and find out information myself, how to deal with criminally inclined people, and how to conduct myself accordingly. It was difficult but these things played a Major role in the reason we won our 3 cases.
15) I have been around manipulative people who lie my entire life. These last few years have introduced me to people unlike any others I had ever met. Their behavior and my prolonged exposure to it have given me the ability to see through lies and manipulation so much easier. I say that they are the reason I have such a “honed bull shit meter.”
16) Drama will happen. I do my best to keep it out of my personal life. I don’t want to have it in my life even though it is around me, most of the time it does not directly involve me and I want to keep it that way.
17) I have made bad choices over my life. I have hurt people too. There are countless times that I made an effort to reconcile and apologize to those individuals simply because it was the right thing to do. Whether they responded or not doesn’t matter because I know that I told them what they deserved to hear.
18) I wish more people would own up to their mistakes and apologize to others. I think when we are wrong that we should do our best to treat others the way we wish they would us.
19) My husband and I do not have a perfect relationship but our relationship is real. We have overcome obstacles together that many others would not have been able to handle. I am thankful for his support.
20) I have been in relationships that were full of drama and distrust. I learned with my husband that a relationship that is full of trust and honesty can never be touched by any other. It was easy for us to be together in the beginning and many of my relationships before were not. I learned that makes a huge difference.
21) I am a sarcastic person. I can be condescending to others. Half the time I don’t even think when I am doing something or saying something like this. It just comes out. I don’t regret the things I say at these points because with my age I have come to understand that not every person will get along with every person. We all have our faults and we all have the choice to decide what type of flawed people we want in our lives. No one is perfect, but not every one is perfect for your life either.
22) Even though I am a sarcastic person I do my best to be respectful of others. I say Yes Sir and No Ma’am to my elders and I try to treat others with a respect that I see less and less of in this world. I worry about our future because I feel without the common decency that respect for others brings we are walking down a path of chaos.
23) When I deal with others I do my best to see their perspective. I try to be understanding, but at the same time I do feel that some people are simply selfish and ignorant. I have little room for understanding with these types of people.
24) My children are my life. My daughter changed my life in a way that she will never understand. I adore her.
25) I am not a perfect mother. I am flawed. I can be short-tempered. I can be oblivious at times. I can be forgetful of those small things that really matter. I am not the ideal that I wish I could be.
26) I am a better mother than what I have ever personally known. I surprise my children. I hug and hold and kiss them each and every day. I take them to places just for them. I do my best to bring joy into their lives. I try to enlighten them and teach them to question for themselves. I try to instill morals within them. I try to be better than what I am.
27) I do not show emotions very well. I do not like for people to see me in a vulnerable or weakened state. I think part of this is because of the abuse I suffered as a child. I was taught that tears meant physical pain. So I learned not to cry.
28) My inability to show emotion also makes it hard for me to show sympathy to those in pain. I DO sympathize with them, I just don’t know how to react to them.
29) I do most of my writing at night when every one is asleep. I stay up until 1 or 2 am and then wake back up at 5:50 to get my daughter up.
30) I am exhausted most of the time.
31) I have so many things to do and it seems like I can never get through my list. It upsets me when I forget things and it seems as though I am forgetting more and more lately.
32) I see so much of myself in my daughter. It is both a joy and a pain. As a parent you want your children to be better than yourself. I hope that she does better for her life than what I have done.
33) I want to help people. I like helping but sometimes I also fear being hurt by people. It has happened so many times before but it will still not stop me from trying.
34) I have worked on my Auto Biography for 2 years now. I will be so glad to see it finished. Even if it never turns out to be anything others care for.
35) I have a million different things that I enjoy and that I want to learn more about. My likes span from gardening, psychology, video games, movies, philosophy, volunteering, autodidact, and the list goes on and on.
36) I am who I am. I don’t like the idea of pretending to be something that I am not. I have many different sides to my personality but they are all me.
37) I have a huge family but I am not close to any of them.
38) I have a very small group of friends in my life. The reason is that I would rather have a small group of people in my life that I can rely on than a large group of people that aren’t truly my friends.
39) I have so many hopes and I want to be able to really be someone who has the ability to help people more than anything.
40) This is the first year since I have been married that we can live our lives without fear.
41) I miss people that I no longer see and I often dream about them as though they are still in my life.
42) I am working on publishing some works. The first few will be published as E-Books. Although I love to be able to hold a book in my hands I have come to see the numerous benefits of E Books.
43) Even though I have a small group of friends that does not mean that I am not open to new friendships.
44) My life has not been easy, but I know that I have had a better life than so many others out there.
45) To lighten things up: I once accidentally sprayed Pepper Spray in my face. Don’t ask me how!
46) When my husband and I were dating on one of our first dates I was leaving and while backing up I backed into a tree because I was looking at him. Shhh.
47) Sometimes people ask me if I am Hispanic. No, I am not.
48) I purposely take blackmail pictures of my kids for when they decide they want to start dating. I am one prepared Mother.
49) My friends like me to answer their phones in a Korean Accent and mess with the callers. They do this all the time.
50) I really hope that you enjoy my blog. I would love feedback and comments. It would mean so very much to me!

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