Why you should never let your kid nickname themself.

Mama and Dada are the easiest sounding names for a baby learning how to speak. The mmm sound is one of the first sounds a baby starts out with. I never use to realize the importance of choosing a good name for a child to say especially when it comes to grandparents names. I remember the good old decision period of helping Nini choose her name. It seemed like it was one of the hardest decisions for some reason. We mulled over grannies, nanas, mamaws, and so many more. Finally after a few weeks we made that epic decision that would name her for the third time in her life. She is the all loving Nini, the giver of snacks and hugs, the saver from spankings. We made a good choice in the end because her name is one that is easily said. Children have a way of evolving names into things that are so unlike what they should sound like.

My first son and second born has a two syllable name that starts with a D. That’s about all you need to know because when it comes time to actually say his name it is nothing like what we named him. His name has devolved into something primal. Parents tend to name everything for the sake of their children. We change every day things to make them sound more kid-friendly. I know it is a silly tradition but it is one that will stand the test of time. “Let’s go potty.” Say that to your 29 year old guy friend and watch as he laughs in your face. How about, “The choo choo was late picking me up and that’s why I am late for work today.” Your boss will definitely excuse you if you use this one. “I’d like another bobble of beer bartender.” You might find yourself getting cut off if you utter this word. Everything is renamed for the sake of our little ones. Nothing is sacred and at the same time everything is.

When we would change our son’s diapers we would make sure to clean his “ding ding” off. No one wants a dirty ding ding. It was a word that became commonplace in the Reece Household. “Hey boy, where is your diaper? You can’t run around the house with your ding ding hanging out.” Well, you guessed it my son chose to rename himself Ding Ding. Of all the things he could have chosen he chose to name himself after his infamous body part. Oh, you think perhaps that he just “happened” across this nickname? I must disagree. He would wake me up in the morning by jumping on my bed naked shaking his wee dinger all over the place laughing like a maniac. Had he not been a 2 year old boy I might have called the police on him. More like a would have instead of a might. So I have a Ding Ding in my house who happens to also have a ding ding of his very own. Lovely.

The fun doesn’t stop here though. Imagine if you can our trips to the local grocery store. Here I am now with 3 children looking as frazzled as I possibly can. I’m just trying to make it from one end of the store to the other in 4 whole pieces. Number 2 likes to throw a wrench in my engine whenever he can. I get into the dairy section and he begins to yell at the top of his lungs, “Ding ding want eggs! Want the eggs!” Yes, don’t they all? Oh yes if you didn’t know already children like to refer to themselves in third person which only further enhances everything they do. As all eyes stare at me and then look over my egg craving Ding Ding I slink out of the refrigerated curdled embarrassment section as quickly as I can. Ninja skills engage.

Churches and weddings are also a good place to take my infamous Ding Ding. He frequents them all. Making sure to illustrate the severity of our parental inadequacies as often as he can. Today my kids had been playing in the water outside. When they came in I had to change the boy. As soon as I had him stripped down he stood in front of the reflective door of the oven and began to shake it like a salt shaker, as they say. He then began to yell, “Ding Ding shake his ding ding” over and over until he couldn’t help but laugh and then say, “I funny.” Well, he wasn’t wrong. So remember kids, choose your nicknames wisely because one of these days when I call him Ding Ding he may just regret that decision. Like I will tell him, “making bad decisions since 2013.” That’s my boy.

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One thought on “Why you should never let your kid nickname themself.

  1. An outstandikng share! I have just forwarde this onto a co-worker who had ben conducting a little homework on this.
    And he in fat bought me lunch due to the fact that I
    dicovered it for him… lol. So let me reword
    this…. Thank YOU for thhe meal!! But yeah, thanx for
    spending time to talk about this isswue here on your internet site.

    Like

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